Let’s say you’re living with some friends, money is tight for you… if your parents have a Netflix’s account would you ask for the password to use it?   How about this, you just moved out of the house (because, you need your freedom and all…) and your parents have a family cell phone plan that includes you and they figured they’d help you get a good start with your new independence, would you offer to pay them for your part of it?

For a lot young people the option of staying at home (or even moving back in after college) is attractive.  It can mean free food, free TV and WiFi etc.  It is easy to understand, if parents are willing to help prolong the, “young adult experience” (code for: helping kids escape the challenge of making a go of it in the cruel world), then hey, what the heck – party on!

I love that parents want to help their children make it in life and feel a God-given sense of responsibility to be a source of support for their children (no matter how old they get).  In my years working with families I can also see that MANY parents have not been inclined to help their children desire one of the basic principles of maturity: learning to contribute – not just take.  Part of the Gods basic plan for each one of us is to learn to contribute to making our own mark in the world.  Striving to give to others, to contribute in meaningful ways.  Most parents love to help their kids long into adult hood, but what a gift it is to be able to help our parents too!  Most of us will never have the chance to out give the generosity given to us by our Moms and Dads – but maturing means finding ways, even small ways to give back- it can start with doing simple things like the dishes or making dinner for our parents.

A sure sign that you take maturity seriously can be seen in your motivations.  Ask yourself: am I looking forward to and working towards the responsibility of paying for my own cell phone bill or am I hoping I can sponge of Mom & Dad‘s cell phone plan till I’m 35?

Here is what I read today that got me thinking…


What are you thoughts?



Alright, if I have to…

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